For her

A friend of mine wrote this for his girl. They had their problems and they fell apart. Now he begins his wait. A long patient wait...

I sit here alone today. Alone. I'm at our favourite place. So what if there are more? I'm at one of them. I sip your favourite drink. Ah, I need more sugar.

I'm out, away from the others. I don't know if the others will be able to be of any help. I don't know if anything they say or do will be of any use to me. A distraction? My favourite advice. And now I come to see that it really doesn't work. At all. Nothing seems like it used to. Yeah, okay I did have stuff going on for me pretty well - even before you walked in. But, now there is emptiness. I can't picture anything without you. By my side. In my mind. There. For me. I will listen to my music now. Drown myself in the moods of the songs. Gin? Nah, it had stopped doing us any good. I do believe sleep is the best escape though. You know I am a deep sleeper. I get sleepy when I want to. And an hour or two pass by without having to think of you. Not that thinking of you is or was the last thing I would want to do. Its just that right now, you seem precious and the only thing I want to have. And when I'm helpless here, with nothing to hold on to, except my loneliness; I would prefer my mind empty.

Blank.

Memories; yeah. Lots of them. Good ones, in abundance. Bad times, fights and misunderstandings? They lay forgotten. The good memories will make me smile. Smile. Yes, the happiness would be felt inside. The magical feeling? What did we call it? It was special. It was definitely real. Every bit of it. One month, eh? Seems like a forever gone by. One long, hot, happy month.

You remember don't you? You remember everything. I know you do. We've come a long, long way. And this doesn't have to end this way. One year of knowing you. We've been to everywhere and have done everything and have felt every feeling together. You taught me lots. You taught me of love. The one thing I never understood. The safe, happy feeling with you there with me? It was beautiful. You taught me to live a better life. You made me a better man. You made me what I am. You made me feel like me today. Thanks for everything. It was so, so real.

But I'm the one who messed up things and I was the one who made us feel the pain. It is my mistake. I made many mistakes. But, in the end - you did want me, didn't you - with all my faults. I'm not the perfect man. I make mistakes. I lie. I try and hide. I act like a fool at times. I become someone else. But I'm human, after all. Okay, yes - A walking animal kingdom. But you know what I'm talking about here. You have had me with everything - the way I am. Don't stop now. I know I have blown it up real bad. And it's now hard. But I have always wanted you happy.

You do realize all of it was all about your happiness, don't you? I didn't want you to start thinking too much. I never wanted you to ever doubt me. Not even once. I thought it would be perfect. With everyday being a happy day. But we had our differences and our problems. We sorted them out. We worked it out. We were all okay. This time, I'm out of words. I can't bring myself to talk. I've just given up. I don't know who is better than whom here - or who got the better of whom - all I know is that we need us together. Because us together was the one thing we could depend on - for completeness and happiness and togetherness - and of course, for our love. I tried so hard to make it okay. Maybe I tried too hard and ruined it all, in the end. I wanted to be your perfect someone. Your everything. I was your everything. Now you say you've lost me. Yet, you're sitting there next to Green, thinking about me. Missing me the most. Missing me like you've never. And here I am, falling apart. Like this relationship we shared. I have no clue what will happen. I know what I want. And you know what you want.

Us.

But you say I'm a liar.

But try and remembering the times we shared. The times we had. Best times. Happy times. Magical. I have broken your trust, the one thing you valued. And now I'm feeling miserable.It's the most lowly feeling. Without you. Here without you. Ah. And the music still is able to do me good. But I know its only temporary. I can only run away from the nothingness.

And all alone I fall to pieces.

You've forgiven, and forgotten. I wish we could talk. I wish we could see each other. I wish we could be us again. I wish we can bring back that feeling. I wish one of us could put an end to this distance. Zero it down and make it better than before. I know I can. I think I should. I will.

But, time they say, is the best healer. So maybe tomorrow is a better day. But I know this one thing - Our love just got better than before and it has grown in these last few days. The last fight we had? Yeah, mistake realized - the guilt has set in - lesson learnt -I'm sorry for everything - I know I let you down.

I'm on my knees now, and asking you for us again. I want us together again. You and me. As one. Like before. Even better. Give us one more chance. One last chance. I know it will be great. We are great together. And nothing should stop us from being together.

Not even you.

I hope things look different after this distance and time. I hope everything will get back to as it was - beautiful. I hope I can survive and go through this test though. Yes, it is a test for us. I hope we manage well. I hope we will get back to being what we were. Because it was just too good to just let go. Ours was a beautiful story. It still is. Fascinating. Maybe. It really was perfect. It was pure and true. It was simple and sweet. I made it complicated. My bad. I never thought about what I did either. I say what I want to say and do what I need to do. And now, I'm broken and alone.

Please give us one last chance.

We are in need of one thing in this world. Our love. Us. You and me. Together again. I will make it okay now. I will return. Just be ready to have me back. Don't start with your games again. I'm serious this time.

I love you. I love you. I love you. We do look cute together. [:)]

Sniff. Sniff. Nice guy, huh? Love does funny things to people.